Today is day 154 without Joel. Friday, October 16, 2009. I have thought about this project off and on for the past few months. I have struggled with emotional breakdowns and black depression since May 15, the day Joel died, and have decided to write my t… more »

Thursdays and Fridays are the worse days for me. Although I am not as manic about it in the last few weeks, in the beginning all I could do was watch the clock and try to imagine where Joel was on May 14 and 15. I tried and tried to map a time line of hi… more »

Friday, May 15, was the worst day of my life. I have felt pain and sorrow throughout my life. Pain over lost girlfriends, pets that have died. We all have. But nothing comes close to what I felt (and what I still feel) when I was told my son had been kil… more »