Today is day 154 without Joel. Friday, October 16, 2009. My first entry in Life Without Joel. Life without Joel is my punnishment, my life sentence. It is my life without parole, it is my life without Joel.

I have thought about this project off and on for the past few months. I have struggled with emotional breakdowns and black depression since May 15, the day Joel died, and have decided to write my thoughts and happenings here. Hopefully this will help me to heal and possibly help others in some way too. Joel lived by the motto, "Never Give Up, Never Give In."