Today is day 154 without Joel. Friday, October 16, 2009, my first entry in Life Without Joel. Life without Joel is my punnishment. Life Without Joel is my life sentence. Life Without Joel is my life without parole, it is my life without Joel.

I have thought about this project off and on for the past few months. I have struggled with emotional breakdowns and black depression since May 15, the day Joel died. The day my world self destructed. I hope to write my thoughts and happenings here. Hopefully this will help heal my soul and possibly help others in some way too. Joel lived by the motto, "Never Give Up, Never Give In." I hope I can come close to living those words.